Joy...

I attend two churches, long story short... I felt chased away from my Catholic faith by an insolent priest who was very rude. He came into our parish and cleaned house... I had been part of the parish over 20 years and it was in the wake of 9-11 and I traveled so much for work it became easier to walk away than to deal with the upheaval.  I then met and married my ex-husband in a non-Catholic service, though my heart tugged and said, "This isn't who you are."  But I digress, I continued throughout my marriage to convince my ex-husband to join a church and to find our rock of faith.  After my divorce, my mom had joined a non-Denominational church called Southpoint and asked that I attend with her.  I attended one Sunday and it was as if the Pastor was talking to me directly.  He spoke of marriage and divorce, and it felt like it was directly speaking to me...  I left feeling angry.  I felt the lava boiling over.... going to service was supposed to me feel better, right? It brought so many feelings to the surface, It was months before I went back.  But when I was drawn back it was different, I can't remember when or why I went back... but I began attending and feeling the words.  The message is relevant and non-traditional, but it just makes sense. 

This school year I elected to enroll my kids in a private Catholic school (I attended Catholic School 1st-7th grade)... My adopted daughter Elina was trying to wrap her mind around God, who He is, and how He is part of her life.  My Catholic faith was renewed and I began also attending St. John's for mass, too. We go back and forth between the two churches....  I have been trying to attend mass as well as services, and we as a family have grown together in faith.  We are making sense of the traditional message with newer more relevant explanations. 

Last night my children asked to attend services at Southpoint.  I do enjoy the words of the pastor; however, I had been feeling that I attended Southpoint because my mom did.  I was brought back from that feeling last night as I listened to the pastor's message of Joy.  I think this is what I have been trying to explain to the people who are not in agreement with my adoption plans.  It was about Joy, the children's ministry also discussed Joy... Elina walked out and said, "Mom, I have Joy in my heart because God is in my heart." She is so smart for such a little girl.  We talked about how that Joy is not about what you are waiting for to happen... that you cannot make happiness by buying things, or completing a task, "I will be happy when I have finished my degree, bought the house I dreamed of, when I find the right spouse, have a child...  you have Joy in your heart when you stop trying to find something or someone to fill it and fill it with God and do His work." Now, do I think every family should do God's work by adopting a child... yes and no, I think some families are meant to do His work by adopting and others by helping families prepared to parent adoptive children... it is not an easy task to bring a child that is hurting from an institutional life into a family.  


For those first time adoptive families, nobody will understand your journey unless they have lived it and don't expect them to.  They will see a shiny happy child, and not the mourning grieving child who is afraid to need you and worries of going back.  But eventually that fear and worry is replaced by Joy as you are able to open the child up to faith, this is why God calls families to adopt to give children not only a family but to give them Joy.  Look at any child's before and after pictures and you will see the Joy that has been instilled by the hope that is delivered to their hearts.  

“I will not leave you as orphans; I am coming to you; because I live, you also will live;” John 14:18-19